hear me out.


in this universe, i want a family. where you hold my hand while i give birth to our daughter in a white hospital room with pink flowers and fuzzy bears on the window sill. where we take family vacations and pose for immature and stupid pictures in our own simple neon cloths on the sands of beach while watching milky way. where you stand at the corner of our kids room watching me reading a bedtime story to them. where we curl up to watch a cheesy movie at the end of a long day in our small little house once the kids have fallen asleep. where we slow dance in our room at 4 am because we both cant sleep.

where we are middle-age and taking our child to college and bickering over where to put her dresser or what junk foods she must avoid. where you kiss her on the forehead "goodbye" and we drive home in contented and at ease, proud silence, your fingers grazing my knuckles, our wedding rings glistening. where we both have gray hair and we laugh and smile and hug and drink hot tea on the porch.

that's the life i want. where i dont second guess everything and i am not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. and without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that i can turn on and off like a security fence.

maybe, i am the right person for you. where i adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. where no one becomes a doormat. where both of us can baggage and curiosity and issues. a universe where we are happy without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game. where we are comfortable and sure, and we have pets for the kids.

maybe there's a place where we fall asleep next to each other every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies. my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth and we both dont want anything or anybody else. where we dont want more, we just want each other.

where i dont covet so much all the time and where i am content and where i dont wonder about picking up and moving to somewhere or maybe Italy lelz without saying anything to anyone and where at this very juncture, i can just know i will always want to come home and cook dinner with you.



this is what i want.
just a simple life.
keep calm and let's finish up our study !

in shaa Allah.

thank you for your wise words.

thank you for your efforts.

thank you for fixing me.